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Episode 1Episode 1Open episodeCat breaks up with Glenn, and Lola fakes a brain tumor to dump Owen. Later, they "console" each other. Blake is a sad clown, and Owens ex-partner tries to lure him back to be a cop. American forces raid the hills of Pakistan in search of bin Laden.
Episode 2Episode 2Open episodeThings get tense after Cat sneezed on Lola. Meanwhile, Briggs tries to get Glen back on the police force.
Episode 3Episode 3Open episodeThe Chief calls a staff meeting to discuss Lola's nonexistent brain tumor.
Episode 4Episode 4Open episodeThe Chief tries to help a boy who has aged rapidly. Meanwhile, Blake tries to help people via the healing power of laughter.
Episode 5Episode 5Open episodeAnother doctor tries to use Blake's method: the healing power of laughter.
Episode 6Episode 6Open episodeIn this very special episode, things are told from the perspective of a visiting doctor from Puerto Rico.
Episode 7Episode 7Open episodeGlen gets upset about Cat's new boyfriend. Meanwhile, a new doctor may be able to cure The Chief.
Episode 8Episode 8Open episodeBlake challenges Nate to a competition where the two doctors must perform surgery using only the healing power of laughter.
Episode 9Episode 9Open episodeBlake tells Lola he knows her brain tumor is fake. Meanwhile, Glen tries to get revenge on Cat's new boyfriend.
Episode 10Episode 10Open episodeIn the season finale Max performs surgery on The Chief and Blake tries to cure Lola's nonexistent tumor.
I See Her Face EverywhereI See Her Face EverywhereOpen episodeAs the new season begins, Cat Black is conflicted about her full term pregnancy, because the father (Nick Kroll) is 6 years old and has advanced aging disease; the doctors remember Lola who still seems to be dead; Chief has more than professional feelings for the new administrator; Glenn cures cancer.
No One Can Replace HerNo One Can Replace HerOpen episodeCat goes into labor with Little Nicky's baby. Little Nicky's advanced aging disease causes him to take on the tendencies of an old man as the disease begins to kill him. Lola Spratt returns from the hospital to explain that she faked her death, but everyone believes she is a ghost. Blake Downs returns to the hospital, following the failure of his private practice/spin-off. New doctor Valerie Flame takes over narrating duties on the show for Cat Black when complications occur in the birth of she and Nicky's child.
I Am Not Afraid of Any GhostI Am Not Afraid of Any GhostOpen episodeDr. Maestro asks Dr. Flame to give him a lethal injection so that he can find Dr. Spratt in the spirit world. A creepy EMT wants to show The Chief his "sexy costume.
Give a Painted Brother a BreakGive a Painted Brother a BreakOpen episodeDr. Blake's clown brother comes to visit and borrows money from Dr. Blake to pay off his gambling debts, while telling him it's for an operation. A mascot from a local theme park starts suspiciously, repeatedly bringing in children with broken arms for treatment. The hospital is turned into a youth hostel, and Sy gets conned by an attractive young foreign girl.
Joke OverloadJoke OverloadOpen episodeThe staff must choose between saving an old black man and a young white kid. Insult comic Jeffrey Ross brings his child into the O.R., but the staff is more concerned with enjoying his humor than treating his child. Two Star Trek nerds dressed in uniforms (one as a Klingon) visit the hospital.
The End of the MiddleThe End of the MiddleOpen episodeAn episode of TV news magazine News Readers covering the filming of the final episode of Childrens Hospital, complete with behind the scenes looks at the show. Cutter Spindell (who portrays Blake Downs on the show within the show) interferes to save the series, convincing protesters that they're saving an actual children's hospital.
Frankfurters, Allman Brothers, Death, FrankfurtersFrankfurters, Allman Brothers, Death, FrankfurtersOpen episodeA knife stuck in a boy's chest may not be what it seems; Glenn's cancer cure is threatened by a mysterious visitor, a mind-reading girl visits the coma room.
Hot Enough for You?Hot Enough for You?Open episodeWhen the power goes out on the hottest day of the year, sexual tensions boil over among the staff. Blake is date-raped. Dori fries eggs on her boobs.
The Coffee Machine Paid For ItselfThe Coffee Machine Paid For ItselfOpen episodeA hip sexy Rabbi (David Wain) arrives and seduces Valerie, angering Glenn; Sy faces a moral dilemma involving a coffee machine; Lola is confused by a mysterious organ in a cooler.
Show Me On MontanaShow Me On MontanaOpen episode"Take Your Daughter to Work" day at the hospital ignites a series of conflicts involving a leering child molester (Steve Agee), Chief's sexy daughter (Lizzy Caplan), and an 11 year-old patient whose gender is yet to be determined.
You Know No One Can Hear You, Right?You Know No One Can Hear You, Right?Open episodeThe abortion debate is brought into relief by a visit from a prominent Senator (Ed Begley, Jr.); Owen must decide whether he can treat the 10-year-old who beats him daily; Sy finally faces his alcoholism.
The Sultan's Finger - LIVEThe Sultan's Finger - LIVEOpen episodeIn a special live episode, a visiting Sultan needs emergency surgery; Blake faces a crucial decision about his clown make-up; Glenn cuts off his finger for Valerie. A surprise ending reveals the shocking the truth about one of the doctors, shattering everyone's perceptions. SEASON FINALE.
Run, Dr. Lola Spratt, RunRun, Dr. Lola Spratt, RunOpen episodeA boy stuck in quicksand is brought to the ER.
Ward 8Ward 8Open episodeBriggs (Nick Offerman) goes undercover in the children's psych ward; Blake's ex (Sarah Silverman) resurfaces; and Chief and Glenn share a moment.
Black DoctorBlack DoctorOpen episodeBlake is evicted from his apartment for being a clown; Dr. Brian returns to the hospital after a stint working for the drama "Black Hospital"; and Cat is overexposed.
Home Is Where the Hospital IsHome Is Where the Hospital IsOpen episodeThe doctors feel crowded from sharing an apartment and decide someone should move out. Elsewhere, Sy deals with his own domestic issues.
Nip/TugNip/TugOpen episodeA pediatric plastic surgeon joins the staffers; Max Von Sydow has a mix-up in the maternity ward; and Glen and Owen try to hunt down a snack.
The '70s EpisodeThe '70s EpisodeOpen episodeGlenn returns from Vietnam; Lola has new career aspirations.
Father's DayFather's DayOpen episodeLola and Brian try to locate Cat's father; the doctors wait for a prisoner's execution and plan to use his heart in a transplant procedure.
Stryker Bites the DustStryker Bites the DustOpen episodeThe staff receive counseling after the death of Brock Stryker (Rob Riggle).
Children's Hospital: A Play in Three ActsChildren's Hospital: A Play in Three ActsOpen episodeThe doctors go back in time.
Munch by ProxyMunch by ProxyOpen episodeOwen's secret wife (Alicia Silverstone) and baby visit the hospital for treatment; Val plays a high-stakes game of chess.
The Night ShiftThe Night ShiftOpen episodeThe staff work the night shift under the guidance of Velam Geza.
The Chet EpisodeThe Chet EpisodeOpen episodeA day in the life of Chet (Brian Huskey), the creepy paramedic.
Party DownParty DownOpen episodeA long-delayed bar mitzvah for Glenn is planned; Owen wants his foreskin back.
NewsreadersNewsreadersOpen episodeUpdates on the cast are featured on "Newsreaders" in the Season 3 finale.
The Boy with the Pancakes TattooThe Boy with the Pancakes TattooOpen episodeAn airborne amnesia virus causes panic to spread.
Staff DanceStaff DanceOpen episodeMadonna visits the hospital, stunning Owen.
Chief's OriginChief's OriginOpen episodeChief recounts her past, but the doctors aren't interested in her tale.
Free DayFree DayOpen episodeThe doctors have free time on their hands. Lola sports a bikini.
Behind the ScenesBehind the ScenesOpen episodeThe actors' bad behavior is caught on camera.
The Return of the Young BillionaireThe Return of the Young BillionaireOpen episodeOwen works with a detective to get to the bottom of strange behavior by kids.
British HospitalBritish HospitalOpen episodeA look at the British version of "Childrens Hospital".
Ladies NightLadies NightOpen episodeSingle mothers receive discounts.
A Kid Walks in to a HospitalA Kid Walks in to a HospitalOpen episodeSy's spy past comes back to haunt him when his former partner returns to kill him.
A Year In the LifeA Year In the LifeOpen episodeThe events of a full year at the hospital are chronicled.
Attention StaffAttention StaffOpen episodeSal Viscuso is hunted and Owen is haunted.
Childrens LawspitalChildrens LawspitalOpen episodeLola has no friends or pets so she gets a law degree and defends Owen.
WisedocsWisedocsOpen episodeThe Mafia run wild in the hospital.
EulogyEulogyOpen episodeThe death of a cast member is examined.
A New HopeA New HopeOpen episodeThe staff move to an army base in Japan when the hospital is infested with termites.
TrianglesTrianglesOpen episodeOfficer Briggs needs a place to stay and a copy of Airplane! to rewatch.
C-WordC-WordOpen episodeA plane crash threatens a night of entertainment on the base.
Country WeekendCountry WeekendOpen episodeThe doctors gather at Cat's vacation house for her wedding to Michael.
Imaginary FriendsImaginary FriendsOpen episodeThe doctors rally to save a ward for imaginary friends.
The Gang Gets SushiThe Gang Gets SushiOpen episodeWhen Lola is recruited for a government task force, the past threatens to compromise the mission.
Old Fashioned DayOld Fashioned DayOpen episodeIt's Old Fashioned Day at Childrens Hospital. And it lasts longer than a day, which allows for a conflict.
Spoiler Alert: Owen Gets a PermSpoiler Alert: Owen Gets a PermOpen episodeOwen learns a lesson about hair choices; Glenn reveals the source of his surgical abilities.
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Wine Tasting - Open episode
Blaken
A Lot of Brouhaha Over ZilchA Lot of Brouhaha Over ZilchOpen episodeDerek Childrens vows to regain control of the hospital from Sy. Includes fairies, a donkey head, hydraulics and poison lipstick.
My Friend FalconMy Friend FalconOpen episodeDavid Wain's personal documentary about his friendship and rivalry with Just Falcon.
Coming and GoingComing and GoingOpen episodeThe doctors' trip to Japan comes to a climax.
Five Years LaterFive Years LaterOpen episodeFive years after leaving the army base, Owen must re-integrate into a 'normal' life at the hospital.
Codename: JenniferCodename: JenniferOpen episodeThe doctors are summoned to the White House, by Lola, to help with a matter of national security.
We Are Not Our DNA!We Are Not Our DNA!Open episodeShocking DNA test results cause confusion and chaos among the staff.
Fan FictionFan FictionOpen episodeNurse Beth enters a love triangle with Glenn and Owen and the doctors try to solve a high-stakes medical mystery.
With Great Power . . .With Great Power . . .Open episodeLola may have a superpower, and Blake and Dori seek parenting advice.
Just Like Cyrano de BergeracJust Like Cyrano de BergeracOpen episodeBlake asks Glenn to coach him through a new romantic relationship. Chief and Cat prank call Sy. Guest stars include Lindsay Sloane, James Adomian, Paul Scheer, Nick Offerman, Jordan Peele and Brian Huskey.
Up at 5Up at 5Open episodeThe cast appears on a morning show, "Up at 5," in order to promote the upcoming Childrens Hospital movie.
Koontz is ComingKoontz is ComingOpen episodeSy runs himself ragged trying to impress an influential blogger before the big hospital fundraiser gala.
Sperm Bank HeistSperm Bank HeistOpen episodeIn a quest to get pregnant, Val assembles a team to break into Sy's sperm bank vault to steal his prized collection.
Nils Vildervaan, Professional InterventiomalistNils Vildervaan, Professional InterventiomalistOpen episodeWhen Sy's new girlfriend makes significant changes around the hospital, the doctors react with hostility.
Me, OwenMe, OwenOpen episodeOwen and Briggs work together on a murder case that has spanned fifteen years; a look into Owen and Briggs' past.
The 27 ClubThe 27 ClubOpen episodeAfter a newspaper calls him a "rock star surgeon," Glenn worries that he will die on his upcoming 27th birthday.
Home Life of a DoctorHome Life of a DoctorOpen episodeGlenn returns to Sao Paolo, Brazil, for his family's weekly Shabbat dinner.
Kick MeKick MeOpen episodeWhen Blake realizes that the source of his life's pain is the other doctors, he decides to take revenge.
Kids HospitalKids HospitalOpen episodeIn the seventh season premiere, the doctors find new jobs at a crosstown hospital after being fired by Blake, who turns to a life of crime with his brother, Sir Tinklebutton.
One Million SavedOne Million SavedOpen episodeA rare disease appears at Childrens Hospital, and the team has to journey into the buried remains of the original Childrens Hospital with Val's alter-ego, Derrick Childrens, to find the cure. Meanwhile, the rest of the doctors desperately try to save the hospital's landmark millionth patient.
Sy's TenureSy's TenureOpen episodeWhen Sy finally gets tenure, he decides to use its powers for the greatest good: building the world's first consumer jetpack. Elsewhere, Chief is stranded on a dance pedestal, and Owen learns just how hard it is to be the hospital DJ.
Doctor BethDoctor BethOpen episodeSet four years ago, Nurse Beth's origins are uncovered as we explore the world of the Nurses' Quarters in the Childrens Hospital basement. Beth has to navigate the complex social hierarchy of the nurses and avoid losing their friendship when she suddenly gets promoted to doctor.
The Show You WatchThe Show You WatchOpen episodeA look back at an episode of the popular 1950s variety show The Show You Watch, known for its irascible host, hilarious skits and elaborate dances, but mostly revered for its weekly visit to Childrens Hospital, the sketch upon which the present day show is loosely based.
DOYDOYOpen episodeBlake, Lola and Glenn are excited to be attending this year's Doctor of the Year Convention (or DOY) in Vegas. Even though Blake has won six years in a row, Glenn and Lola are determined to win. Owen tags along to visit his mom, with surprising consequences.
Show Me a HeroShow Me a HeroOpen episodeWhen Dr. Cat Black has a crisis of faith, the hospital's resident spiritual leaders fiercely compete against each other to convert her and win a monthly sales prize. Glenn grows frustrated that he isn't getting the respect he deserves for playing second bass in the L.A. punk band X.
By the ThroatBy the ThroatOpen episodeAfter discovering that Childrens Hospital is out of tongue depressors, Owen finds himself embroiled in a dangerous hospital-wide conspiracy that reaches all the way up to Governor Jasper Ruth, the Boss Tweed of Sao Paulo, Brazil. GEORGE WENDT guest stars.
Childrens HorsepitalChildrens HorsepitalOpen episodeA race horse is wanted by fearsome mob boss Mamma Fiorucci, so Chief hides the animal in the hospital, all while Lola's college barbershop quartet tempts her into rejoining and Glenn glues Blake's hands into his latex gloves. VALERIE HARPER and WILL SASSO guest star. Recurring guest star BRIAN HUSKEY also appears.
Through the Eyes of a FalconThrough the Eyes of a FalconOpen episodeIn a "Behind the Scenes" episode, actor Just Falcon (who plays Dr. Glenn Richie) invites the rest of the Childrens Hospital cast to his special photography exhibition, where all of their shocking secrets are revealed.
Grandparents DayGrandparents DayOpen episodeIt's "Bring Your Grandparents to Work Day" at the hospital. The doctors struggle with their grandparents, whether they're overbearing, trying to kill themselves or are just famous actors.
Hump ColaHump ColaOpen episodeOwen discovers that the fluid in Chief's hump tastes exactly like Coca Cola. Despite Chief's protests, Owen attempts to monetize her "hump cola," while Blake suspects Glenn has an addiction problem and takes him to Nils Vildervaan, professional rehabilitationalimist. MICHAEL SHOWALTER guest stars.
The Grid, Part OneThe Grid, Part OneOpen episodeWhen Glenn and Owen experience bizarre hallucinations and Lola fears she's being followed by an imaginary doctor, they think a gas leak in the hospital might be to blame. But what they discover threatens to upset the entire future of Childrens Hospital.
The Grid, Part TwoThe Grid, Part TwoOpen episodeWhen Glenn and Owen experience bizarre hallucinations and Lola fears she's being followed by an imaginary doctor, they think a gas leak in the hospital might be to blame. But what they discover threatens to upset the entire future of Childrens Hospital.