Roseanne

Roseanne deals with complaints that her daughter Darlene barks in school.

Although Dan and Roseanne agree not to spend any of Dan's $500 advance on themselves, neither can resist the temptation.

Jackie babysits while Roseanne and Dan go out to a formal restaurant dinner -- at which they see a recently divorced friend.

A body language test reveals Dan's innermost feelings about his sister-in-law; Darlene has a bone to pick with D.J.

A songwriting contest unleashes creativity in Dan and Roseanne, while Booker unleashes uncontrolled impulses in Jackie.

Bowling night finds Roseanne checking out Becky's new boyfriend Chip, while Jackie and Booker make a bet with high stakes.

Roseanne discovers that Dan had a one-night stand with her high-school nemesis years ago.

Roseanne and Jackie help Crystal drown her sorrows over breaking up with her lover by taking her to the Lobo Lounge for a few pink squirrels and a pep talk.

Dan's birthday bash at the Lobo Lounge is interrupted by a bully who picks a fight with Dan at the pool table.

Roseanne bets Dan he'll never finish repairing his truck.

Dan can't bear to part with the "junk" Roseanne wants to donate to a rummage sale; Darlene forges a passing grade on her report card.

Dan and Roseanne disagree about where to spend a romantic 15th anniversary; Becky refuses to dissect a frog in biology class; Darlene finds her paper route more than she can handle.

Crystal struggles to cope with the death of her husband; Darlene decides it's cool to smoke.

Roseanne steps in to referee when Dan's visiting father pontificates about Dan wasting time working as a contractor.

Darlene's bad dreams aren't due to the scary movies she's been watching.

Roseanne takes her reluctant family on a shopping spree at the Lanford mall.

Becky is eager for the dinner party with Chip and his parents to come to an end.

Darlene's emergency appendectomy makes Roseanne anxious and guilty over having yelled at Darlene earlier.

After two weeks of overtime at work and chaos at home, Roseanne takes refuge at a diner.

As a tornado spins through Lanford, a storm is brewing inside the Conner house over the whereabouts of Jackie who hasn't returned from her trip to the market.

During the family's busy weekend activities, a door-to-door salesman drops by -- and then drops dead in the Conner kitchen.

An unannounced visit by Roseanne's parents has the Conner house in an uproar.

Roseanne has difficulty accepting new rules from a tough new supervisor at the factory.

Roseanne tries her hand at telephone solicitation while trying to console Becky who had an embarrassing accident in front of the school council.

Jackie takes umbrage at Roseanne's remarks about her career ambitions when she reveals that she has enrolled in police academy; Becky gets caught reading Dan's girlie magazine.

Inexperienced Roseanne is hired for -- and subsequently fired from -- a job requiring computer experience.

After a lonely architect who works with Dan has dinner at the Conners', he attempts to buy their friendship.

Roseanne begins to feel the empty-nest syndrome when Jackie departs for police training, Becky dates a 17-year-old and Darlene goes to a co-ed party.

A kiss is just a kiss, but it could mean trouble when the kisser is Dan's buddy Arnie, and the kissee is Roseanne.

The Conner family terrify each other out of their wits on Halloween night.

Roseanne tries to get a few minutes of relaxation in the bathtub, but she ends up getting constant interruptions from her family--and a fantasy about two hunks.

On Thanksgiving Day, Jackie finally spills the news of her new job to her mother; and Dan's dad butters up Crystal.

Darlene refuses to read her prize-winning poem on Culture Night at her school, preferring to stay home to watch a ballgame with Dan, until Roseanne lays down the law.

When Roseanne takes a second job, her hectic work schedule takes a bite out of her romantic schedule with Dan. Dan disguises himself in an attempt to win back Roseanne's affections.

Becky wages a teenage war of silence against Roseanne.

Roseanne strains to treat her 17-year-old boss with respect so she can have weekends off to be with her family.

When the parents are away, Becky and her friend Dana play with a little help from the liquor cabinet.

When Roseanne is called away, Jackie impresses Dan and the kids with her homemaking skills.

Roseanne and Dan get a blast from the blast when old pal Ziggy cruises into Lanford on a motorcycle, prompting the Conners to resurrect their old bike.

Roseanne applies for a job at a beauty salon doing the same domestic chores that she does at home.

Dan is persuaded to join Roseanne in a weight-loss program that involves exercise.

Roseanne doesn't share Jackie's enthusiasm for the exciting new man in her life.

Roseanne's meddling results in silence between the sisters, but Jackie has exciting news to share.

Roseanne's station wagon is hit by a luxury car that belongs to the rich Mrs. Wellman.

On April 15th, Dan and Roseanne offer the kids a frantic lesson in family accounting; and in despair finally visit the local IRS office.

In an attempt to bond with their daughters, Dan goes clothes shopping with Becky, and Roseanne watches basketball with Darlene.

Roseanne finally has a place to write when Dan builds her an office for her birthday -- but she's stricken with a case of writer's block.

Becky is eager to practice for her driving test, and the rest of the family awaits the results of Roseanne's pregnancy test.

Lending money to pal Arnie comes easily for Dan, but he believes that borrowing from family only adds up to disaster.

Roseanne decides it's time to give Becky "the talk", unaware that it's Darlene who needs it more.

Despite her misgivings, Roseanne, working late as a coffee-shop waitress, leaves Dan in charge of the kids.

After Police Officer Jackie gets slightly injured, Gary says he's tired of always worrying about her and wants her to quit her job as a Police Woman. Meanwhile, Becky and Darlene find something disturbing under D.J.'s bed that makes them believe he's a complete psycho.

Becky's folks pressure her to stop dating a boy.

Roseanne, mistaken for a guy in her lumberjack Halloween costume, plays along with some braggarts and learns about machismo.

Roseanne's PMS day and Dan's birthday are on a collision course.

Becky is suspended for allegedly making an obscene gesture in her class photo which makes her suddenly popular at school, but Roseanne is the one called into the principal's office.

Dan ill-advisedly tells Roseanne he's having dreams of a mysterious, and oddly homely, other woman.

Since the girls continually break curfew, Dan and Roseanne celebrate the anniversary of their first lovemaking by revisiting the restaurant/hotel and staying out very, very late, hoping to teach the girls a lesson, with the help of Officer Jackie.

An angry and deflated Roseanne discovered that her mother always thought sister Jackie had more potential.

Dan's visiting father astonishes everyone by announcing his plans to marry Crystal.

Against Dan's wishes, Roseanne forges ahead with wedding preparations, with Crystal revealing she's pregnant with Ed's child.

Becky runs away from home to live with Jackie.

Darlene is embarassed when Roseanne gives Darlene's home economics class a supermarket lesson in real-life family budgeting; D.J. has to deal with a bully.

Roseanne is mad at Dan for forgetting Valentine's Day, so he winds up full-figure lingerie shopping; and Darlene's upset when a boy she likes asks out Becky instead.

Roseanne is torn between taking care of her flu-stricken husband and helping Jackie learn lines for her play.

Roseanne may lose her job if she and Dan go on their long-awaited trip to see Wayne Newton perform in Las Vegas.

Frustrated because her parents can't afford the car she wants, Becky and her boyfriend, Mark, borrow Dan's treasured motorcycle against his orders.

The new wife next door, Kathy Bowman, looks down on Roseanne and complains that D.J. is a bad influence on her son Todd.

Roseanne helps Crystal with her Lamaze classes; Dan's near-fatal accident at work makes D.J. follow him obsessively; Dan and Roseanne sit up all night doing their wills, and Jackie is offended that she doesn't get custody of the kids.

Roseanne tries to convince Darlene to wear something feminine to a big school dance -- but she'd rather attract attention for her softball skills.

The Connors celebrate Mother's Day with a barbecue with Roseanne's feisty grandmother.

Dan and Roseanne commit to opening a motorcycle shop with a free-spirited old friend who gets cold feet at the last minute.

Roseanne is stunned when Becky asks for advice about birth control.

Roseanne and Dan open up shop at Lanford Custom Cycle, but selling a bike proves an exhausting challenge, as does keeping the household fine-tuned with Becky in charge.

Jackie awakens and is horrified to find that she has slept with Arnie; Dan invites Leon home for the weekly poker game; D.J. trades his comics for a dog.

Darlene slips into a depressive state, wanting to wear only black, watch TV and be left alone; Becky wants a motorcycle.

Roseanne's new neighbors, the Bowmans, are burgled while they are out of town -- and hold Roseanne responsible.

Roseanne is convinced that Kathy Bowman will take revenge for the Halloween prank she played on her; Jackie flirts with a moose at the Lodge costume party.

Arnie decides to wed Nancy in Las Vegas, inviting Dan and Roseanne to stand up for them.

The Conners risk getting thrown out of a Vegas nightclub, and visit a wedding chapel with Arnie and Nancy.

Becky gets into hot water for helping Darlene with a school assignment; trying to stop smoking cold-turkey has Roseanne frazzled, as does working two jobs.

Thanksgiving brings four generations together to cope with a surprise announcement from Bev.

Roseanne and Jackie go to Kansas City to visit their father's mistress; Dan intends to beat up Becky's obnoxious boss.

Roseanne talks Leon into letting her play Santa Claus at the mall -- and hears something she wishes she hadn't from one of the kid's mothers, who turns out to be Darlene's new friend and confidante.

It is Crystal's choice to choose where the gals' night out will be. Crystal chooses bingo and they all hate it. After Roseanne wins $50 playing bingo, she gets hooked on it. Becky and Darlene babysit Little Ed, but when Dan comes home its D.J. and Dan that end up taking care of the baby. Roseanne and Crystal get into a fight, but at the end they make up and Roseanne learns that Crystal is pregnant again.

When Dan and Arnie struggle to bring their bowling team out of last place, some unexpected competition arises. Meanwhile, Roseanne feels shut out of Jackie's new friendship with Nancy.

After Roseanne throws her back out, Bev arrives to help out -- and to spoil her grandchildren.

A doctor recommends that Roseanne undergo breast reduction surgery for her back problems.

Roseanne and Dan breathe a sigh of relief when Becky breaks up with Mark.

On a last visit to their childhood home, Roseanne and Jackie recall their adolescent years, causing Roseanne to reconsider a punishment for Darlene, who skipped school with David to attend a comic book convention in Chicago.

The Conners are sitting pretty for a TV ad for Rodbell's Luncheonette, but at home things get ugly between D.J. and Todd. Leon and Steven break up, and the Bowmans move back to Chicago.

Roseanne accompanies Jackie to her therapist after she chooses the ideal man for Jackie -- dull tax accountant Art; Darlene mouths off once too often about a female school bully.

Roseanne freaks out when she learns that Rodbell's employees must take a lie detector test to find out who has been stealing from the restaurant; Darlene bypasses Roseanne for advice about her beau.

A pregnant Crystal snaps at everyone in sight, then goes into labor with Dan coaching her in the delivery room; Roseanne and Bonnie feud over who should replace Leon as the new manager of the coffee shop; and Darlene delivers a message to David to quit crowding her.

Mark turns to alcohol to solve his problems with Becky, and Dan lies to Roseanne about the boy's drunken, reckless evening at the Lobo Lounge to cover both their tracks.

The girls take Roseanne to the Beauty Box for Mother's Day in hopes of convincing her to let them attend a weekend rock concert.

As the luncheonette closes and the bike shop folds, D.J.'s scholastic achievement is the only light on the Conners' dim horizon. (Coda: an ice-cream fight in the Conner kitchen; Arnie is abducted by aliens)

Roseanne supports the family after Dan's motorcycle shop goes under; Becky considers moving to Minneapolis with Mark.

Becky and Mark return to say goodbye before moving away.

The power company cuts off the Conners' power. Dan and Roseanne must look at Darlene in a new light after David spends the night in her room.

Roseanne and Jackie are stunned when their mother announces she is moving to Lanford; Jackie agonizes over dating Fisher, a perfect, but much, much younger man.

Roseanne mortifies Darlene with a sweet sixteen party, then sends her off to her friends while the adults enjoy the festivities, which include a game of Truth or Dare; the Tildens move in next door; Darlene dyes her hair black to make Roseanne mad, but is shocked when Roseanne reacts differently.

Denied a loan to open the restaurant, Roseanne must turn to her mother; Darlene catches D.J. peeping at neighbor Molly.

Roseanne sends everyone to a party while she stays home -- and is visited by the ghosts of Halloween past, present, and future.

Nancy takes Roseanne and Jackie by surprise with the announcement that she and Marla are gay lovers; Bev announces she is moving into a Lanford retirement center, which leaves Roseanne feeling over the hill.

The Lunch Box welcomes its first customers, including a weirdo whose presence sends the gals to a self-defense class. Meanwhile, Arnie questions his own manhood after hearing that Nancy is gay.

Roseanne reluctantly allows Darlene to go to a rock concert in nearby Rockford with Molly -- who abandons her.

D.J. decides to take up hockey and becomes the terror of the rink; Roseanne meddles to reunite Jackie and Fisher.

A Christmas Eve snowstorm scatters the Connors, with Roseanne and Jackie trapped at the Luch Box with Bev and Nana Mary, while Darlene takes shelter at David's and learns the truth about his home life.

Dan disciplines D.J. for taking offensive reading material to school-- Darlene's comic book. Dan reacts strongly when Roseanne discovers that Fisher has beaten Jackie.

Dan returns home to rampart rumors about his behavior, while Roseanne urges a dazed Jackie to leave her abusive boyfriend.

Darlene does NOT serve meat at the counter. She is forced to work there by Roseanne, but out of principal, will not serve the meat. That was her whole point

The death of their father finds Jackie blubbering, but Roseanne angry -- and sharing a drink with the "other woman" in his life.

A wealthy and successful cousin whom Roseanne hasn't seen in 25 years comes to bury the hachet, and encourages Darlene to leave home.

The Conners and the Tildens travel to California in a motor home, with Dan pondering his future and Ty contemplating Jackie.

Roseanne wants Darlene's boyfriend, David, to move in with them, but Dan refuses to allow it.

For their anniversary, Roseanne poses in a sexy photo for Dan, while he moonlights at a big-and-tall men's store to pay for his present for her.

Darlene wants nothing to do with David after Molly kisses him; and a new friend puts a smile on Bev's face.

Darlene springs a prom-night surprise on David: she has rented a motel room. Meanwhile, Dan is reluctant to share with Roseanne his plans for a new business.

Roseanne and Dan fear a financial crisis when they cannot sell the house they refurbished and their new partner, Roger, skips town.

Dan realizes that he needs a steady job to take care of his family when he accidentally knocks out one of Roseanne's teeth on the day she is to meet with a health inspector (who turns out to be Leon); Darlene is accepted to art school but David is rejected.

Roseanne worries that Darlene may be planning to run away from home; new neighbor George befriends D.J.

Roseanne is suffering from empty-nest syndrome as Darlene heads for school. But after Darlene gets settled into her dorm, the two have a revealing mother-daughter chat, and Roseanne returns home with a plan.

Brutally honest Roseanne suffers the consequences after telling Bev that she's had her fill of her at the Lunch Box. Meanwhile, Jackie jumps back into the dating arena.

Roseanne attempts to enlist Darlene's aid in taming a rebellious D.J., while scheming to reunite her with David.

Foreman Dan feels lower than low for getting tough with his employees at work, while Roseanne lectures David for getting high after she finds a stash of pot in the house -- then realizes it is hers from decades ago.

After months of trying to get pregnant, Roseanne learns that Jackie is expecting -- and Fred is the unknowing father.

Halloween at the diner becomes complicated when Nancy complains that Dan doesn't like her, and Roseanne discovers that Darlene and David are each dating others.

Darlene visits, making David realize how much he misses her; Roseanne urges Dan to have a man-to-man chat with D. J. after they discover he's been spending too much time behind locked doors.

Dan has a hard time concealing the fact that he had lunch with an old flame.

Becky and Mark return home for Dan's high school football team's 20th anniversary party. It soon becomes apparent that there's trouble in paradise, so Roseanne schemes to break them up.

The Connors' dysfunctional-family Thanksgiving finds Becky preparing the bird, Dan and Mark duking it out, and an absent-minded Nana Mary revealing Bev's secret about her marriage.

Leon convinces Jackie and Nancy to open the restaurant for breakfast, causing Roseanne to fear he is planning to force her out. Roseanne's car is stolen -- by D.J., and her violent reaction frightens her that she may repeat the pattern of her own abuse as a child, while Dan blames her anger on work stress.

Roseanne and Dan snub the neighborhood association by putting up gaudy Xmas decorations, and become furious with Becky when she gives the check they have given her for college to Mark and takes a job as a waitress in a tacky bar.

Roseanne joins a women's club in hopes of establishing useful contacts, leaving D.J. high and dry with a weird classmate whose mother also belongs. Meanwhile, Mark drops a bombshell on Becky when Dan discovers that he has dropped out of school.

Dan and Roseanne try to talk Mark into coming back to Becky; meanwhile, Roseanne finds out that David is living with Darlene and heads for Chicago to confront them.

Guilt and Roseanne's slavedriving push David to confess to Dan that he was living with Darlene in Chicago, and Dan throws him out; Jackie refuses to take money for the baby from Fred; Roseanne and Becky try to pressure Dan to hire Mark.

Jackie's house buzzes with activity as Roseanne tries to hide David from Dan.

Roseanne becomes involved in a family feud as Fred sues Jackie for custody of their unborn child; Mark and D.J. tease David for being unmanly.

Roseanne is the life of the party at a gay bar, until Nancy's new girlfriend plants a disturbing kiss on her; meanwhile, back home, Becky's old flame gives Mark reason to distrust Becky.

Jackie is due to give birth, and has to choose between Fred and Roseanne to accompany her to the delivery room.

When Dan's father misses an alimony payment, Dan and Roseanne argue about covering it; meanwhile, Fred becomes concerned about Jackie's sexual past.

Roseanne helps Dan understand his dad's lying about his mom's mental state.

Darlene discovers that D.J. has been sneaking off after to school to attend church; D.J. gives Roseanne a hard time about morals when she accepts a mistaken delivery of a second stove at the diner.

Bev moves in after breaking her pelvis at the retirement home, blaming Dan for not safeproofing her shower; then Roseanne discovers that it happened while Bev and Jake were having sex.

Fred asks Roseanne how to propose to Jackie, then uses hints from Jackie's favourite soap opera; an enraged Roseanne demands romance from Dan, then turns to fantasy; Mark and David struggle with the concepts of feminism.

Egos clash when Jackie and Fred can't make a decision about their marriage. Fred is having what Dan calls the moment of clarity, a case of the jitters that affects some men just before the big day. But what's really bothering Fred is his belief that Jackie has feelings for someone she sees almost every day and whom she is always asking to come over and fix stuff, none other than Dan.

Space limitations prompt Dan and Roseanne to boot Becky and Mark; Dan must shave his armpits to treat a cyst, and Roseanne finds his new look sexually appealing. Jackie moves out when Fred accuses her of smothering the baby; and Roseanne reveals that she has not caught Mark's flu.

Dan is anxious at the thought of Roseanne having another child; Roseanne is upset to discover that Darlene is seeing a college student and that David has accepted it.

Smarting over being dumped by Darlene, David tells her parents that she has been experimenting with drugs at college.

Dan, Mark, and Fred indulge in a little "girl talk" and are horrified to discover what their respective wives have told each other about the men's sexual preferences and dysfunctions.

David has to move in with D.J. when the basement is flooded; David hesitantly admits to Becky that he had an erotic dream; she assumes it was about her; D.J. tells Mark, who tries to beat up David; then David confesses the dream was really about Roseanne.

Leon outdoes himself hosting a Halloween soiree with the Lunch Box clan and a bevy of his gay friends, many of whom seem to know Fred intimately. Meanwhile, Jackie and Roseanne visit Bev's hairdresser and become convinced that she wears a wig.

D.J. wants out of his busboy job at the Lunch Box, and David wants to put the kibosh on Darlene's moving in with her new squeeze Jimmy -- who misinterprets David's obsessive interest in him.

An impromptu visit to Darlene's apartment gives Roseanne a clear picture of what Jimmy is all about. Meanwhile at home, Dan finds himself a bit fuzzy on parenting skills: D.J. is being beaten up by a bully, and taking it out on David.

D.J.'s refusal to kiss a black student in the school play brings Dan and Roseanne face to face with their own racial prejudices.

Thanksgiving is a real turkey at the Conner household when Roseanne gets alarming medical news she can't confirm with the pre-natal clinic, and Nana Mary arrives with a feeble husband on her arm -- then upsets Bev by discussing the two abortions Nana Mary had years ago.

Roseanne is warring with Dan and in a dither over her upcoming second medical test, which may require a difficult decision -- one she believes is hers alone to make.

Dan takes the bull by the horns after he learns that D.J. isn't performing well in school. Meanwhile, to Roseanne's horror, Darlene seems genuinely impressed with David's dimwitted new girlfriend.

The Connors get an eyeful from a new elderly neighbor couple who enjoy nudity in their home but are all too visible from Roseanne and Dan's bedroom. Meanwhile, Mark is so convinced that he is losing Becky to David that he asks Darlene for help.

After Bev is charged with drunken driving, Jackie and Roseanne accompany her to a compulsory AA seminar. Her new resolve of sobriety on Super Bowl Sunday wreaks havoc with Dan's keg party.

Roseanne feigns illness to get some rest, but grows bored instead; Jackie confronts Bev about having been a rotten mother to her.

Sibling rivalries fester when Jackie complains to Roseanne about D.J.'s annoying visits, and Roseanne lures Darlene home.

Jealousies mount between David and Mark over vulnerable Lunch Box waitress Stacy, whom David asks to pose for a wall mural in the diner; Jackie complains to Fred that their lovemaking needs a shot in the arm, even though he likes it just the way it is.

In Roseanne's absence, Dan gets unexpected advice from David after discovering a scandalous secret concerning Jackie.

Youngsters Roseanne and Jackie visit a fortuneteller who gives them a peek into their futures via her crystal ball. In the future, Jackie takes an adult, autistic D.J. to see a psychiatrist.

The "Sitcom Moms Welcome Wagon" visits Roseanne.

Just as Fred gets ready to cave in and return home, Roseanne comes to regret sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong by trying to reunite him with Jackie.

Becky and Mark finally leave the Conner nest to move into a tacky trailer park, but when Roseanne and Dan try to help out financially, their offers are met with a wall of resistance. Meanwhile, a tipsy neighbor drops by to put out the trailer park welcome mat.

Dan puts his foot down when D.J. allows a pushy vixen to boss him around; and Jackie gets a few things off her chest when she and Fred visit a therapist to save their marriage.

Roseanne has a bee in her bonnet over the possibility that David may like another girl better than Darlene -- who risks losing him if she doesn't take her mom's advice and act fast.

Because the Conners have been selected as a Neilsen family, Roseanne decrees that their household viewing habits must change.

A Gilligan's Island fantasy plays into the season finale, which finds Dan torn between pleasing Roseanne and building a boat for a future adventure. Dan becomes the Skipper, Leon becomes Mr. Howell, Bev becomes Mrs. Howell, Jackie becomes Gilligan, Darlene becomes Maryanne, and Roseanne becomes Ginger.

Hostesses Becky and Darlene disagree over Roseanne's baby shower.

Jackie chews out Roseanne for feeding baby Andy junk food; D.J. spends a picture-perfect day observing what makes Dan tick after Dan becomes upset to discover D.J.'s only photo of him shows him sitting drinking beer -- pretty much what makes him tick.

Roseanne will stop at nothing to crush the competition when a new, more posh eatery -- complete with a salad bar and a drive-through window -- opens up across from the Lunch Box.

The temptation to crash a stranger's bar mitzvah at a local hotel is too much for Roseanne as she drags Dan out on the town for a "last hurrah" before the baby is born.

Roseanne reigns as "Queen of the Gypsies, consort of wizards and seer of souls" on Halloween, when an Ouija board sending a message from "The Dead" portends an unexpected event: she's in labor.

The Conners find themselves going back in time in this spoof of 1950s sitcoms (shot mostly in black and white): Roseanne's a fussy housewife, Dan is a hapless businessman stewing over "the Anderson account," and Jackie's the wacky neighbor.

Roseanne and Jackie's shopping trip with the baby becomes an outing a la Thelma and Louise after they give a lift to a rebellious teen, then force a trucker off the road.

When D.J.'s teacher gives his students free rein, the class Thanksgiving pageant takes on a decidedly modern, Pulp Fiction twist-- and offends many of the parents, but not the Conners.

With his old band mate performing in town, Dan's got the blues. Seems he regrets giving up his youthful dreams to settle down with Roseanne.

While Roseanne narrates a video time capsule for her unborn child, Becky and Darlene find old love letters of Dan and Roseanne's; D.J. gets upset when he finds his parents did not fill out his baby book; and Mark cooks dinner for the Conner clan.

Christmas for the Conners bring more than the usual holiday cheer and festivities, it also brings a wedding -- for Leon and Scott.

Did someone say food fight? That's what Roseanne and Jackie's stint offering samples at a supermarket turns into when Jackie outsells her sister.

D.J. inherits $500 in his great aunt Harriet's will (because he was the only member of the family she never met) and blows half of it on a trombone to impress a girl who plays tuba in the school band. Meanwhile, Darlene alienates everyone by mentioning that she has turned down a $500/week job in advertising, an entry level position that would pay her more than both her parents earn.

Roseanne advises an unhappy Becky to change her life -- not realizing that Mark doesn't share his wife's eagerness for change, so Becky intends to change her marriage.

While Nana Mary amuses Roseanne and Jackie with a box of their childhood treasures, Dan and his pals reluctantly play poker with Leon and Scott.

Dan weighs the merits of giving up his boring garage job for a new construction endeavor with his pals; Jackie surfs the internet and becomes addicted.

The family goes hog wild with excitement -- and with plans to travel to Disney World -- when Dan brings home his final paycheck from the Lanford City Garage.

Fireworks and fanfare accompany the Conners on a whirlwind tour of the magical kingdom of Disney World, when Darlene finds she's actually happy in the presence of Winnie the Pooh.

David moves out after getting a job at a theme park known as "the happiest place in Illinois," where he's soon transformed into an ultra-perky worker with an eerie smile.

Just weeks after their hot night in Disney World, Darlene drops a proposal -- and a surprise announcement: she's pregnant -- on David, whose major life changes seem to be happening all in one day.

After an impromptu interview at the diner goes spectacularly well, Roseanne prepares to "Wake Up Chicago" on a morning TV talk show as a news commentator with a unique and "opinionated blue-collar outlook" -- and with Jackie as her manager.

Bev's smitten with her passionate ballroom-dance instructor -- until a drama unfolds on the dance floor when he starts flirting with the newly divorced Jackie.

Darlene's wedding day brings unexpected tears, joy and tenderness as Dan is finally able to express his love to Darlene and the young couple's wedding vows bring Roseanne to tears.

Roseanne's brave and witty front masks her fears after Dan suffers a heart attack during Darlene's wedding reception.

Dan returns home from hospital with orders from the doctor for a new diet regime -- and strict orders from Roseanne about changing his lifestyle.

Roseanne goes on a spiritual odyssey in front of the TV. After walking out on Dan in the heat of anger, Roseanne is now holed up at Jackie's, mesmerized by the sitcom couples she grew up with on That Girl, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and I Dream of Jeannie. Meanwhile, back at the Conner house, Dan is listlessly puttering around fixing things -- but he'd rather "fix things" in his marriage. And, much like the TV couples occupying Roseanne's thoughts, Dan and Roseanne just might discover that they're better off together than apart. In the coda, Jackie realizes that they have won $108 million in the state lottery.

The Connors win the biggest lottery payoff in state history but insist they're still "just folks."

Newly wealthy Roseanne indulges in daydreams involving Hugh Hefner and an appearance on the Jerry Springer Show in which she imagines her dreams, and even some of her nightmares, coming true thanks to the lottery winnings.

While Roseanne and Jackie anticipate indulging themselves to unlock their "divine female essence" at a luxury spa, Dan is just plain morose -- and finally admits why: nagging worries about a family member, his institutionalized mother.

A Moldavian prince descends on Lanford with one purpose in mind: to romance Jackie. It seems he's developed a royal crush on her after seeing her briefly on TV.

Roseanne and Jackie fight the battle of the bulge during their sojourn at a luxury spa, where past-life regression therapy brings out the imagined warrior in Roseanne.

Absolutely fabulous glam gals Jennifer Saunders and Joanna Lumley (in character as Edina and Patsy) are among the few down-to-earth participants in Roseanne's outrageous Halloween outing. They're guests at an Upper West Side soiree, where new multimillionaires Roseanne and Jackie have gained entrance into New York society. But for grandmother-to-be Roseanne, a witches' coven soon comes into play "a la Rosemary's Baby” and bizarre happenings begin to involve a very pregnant Darlene.

A visit with the wealthy Wentworths on Martha's Vineyard gives the Conners a glimpse into new friend Astrid's dysfunctional family. And before long, the Conners are teaching the snobby elitists some truths about real life.

Roseanne battles a group of women-hating terrorists who hold her family and a foreign diplomat hostage on a train to Washington, D.C.

The absence of Dan, a series of family squabbles, and a shocking revelation by Bev mar the Conners' first Thanksgiving as a rich and famous family, and they start to realize that money does not necessarily buy happiness.

Bev pays a visit to her free-spirited mom in search of answers, while Roseanne awaits Dan's return with trepidation, fearing he might not recognize the place -- or her new look.

After a long stay in California with his mother, Dan returns home for Christmas and he, Roseanne and the rest of the family begin to realize how fortunate they are to have each other and how much they have to be thankful for as the old year ends.

Jackie forces Dan to reveal some devastating news to Roseanne: he's been having an affair in California with a nurse who cared for his mother. Meanwhile, D.J. wants the job of videotaping Darlene giving birth; and Jackie must face a harsh truth about her own love life.

As Dan packs his bags to leave, Roseanne drowns her sorrows in fast food while driving aimlessly around Lanford, and D.J. finds a soul mate to share his troubles.

When a heartbroken Roseanne locks herself in her room and won't come out, her family and friends all try in their own unique way to help her get out of her funk. Friends and family try an intervention after they're unable to rouse a listless Roseanne out of bed, where she's been for four days amid piles of junk food, depressed over Dan's affair.

At a party at the swank Lanford Country Club, Roseanne forges a surprising bond with Edgar Wellman, Jr., the son of her hated former boss. When he reveals some shocking news about the future of Lanford, Roseanne realizes she may be the only one who can save her hometown.

After they wrap up the Wellman Plastics buyout, Roseanne doesn't know what to do when she finds herself deeply attracted to Edgar Wellman, Jr., and realizes that he is equally bewitched by her.

Bothered by rumors about Roseanne and "that Wellman guy," Dan sweeps by to take Roseanne out for a ride. Roseanne and Dan begin to take the first tentative steps toward putting their marriage back together. But their reconciliation is disrupted when a frantic call comes in from Jackie: Darlene has been suddenly rushed to the hospital.

When Darlene gives birth to a very premature baby, the doctors offer very little hope for the child's survival. But Roseanne sets out to prove that love, affection, and human contact are better than any medicine.

Jackie and Mark take in a female wrestling match; D.J. is not prepared when he realizes he may be about to have his first sexual experience when a night of watching videos with Heather turns into a night of passion; and Bev introduces Leon and Scott to her new "friend," a boozy lounge singer named Joyce.

Roseanne learns some truths about the price of fame when two high-powered television programmers bombard her with all sorts of bizarre ideas about how network and cable TV would tell her life story. Roseanne is appalled to learn that one wants to sanitize her life and the other wants to spice it up. At the same time, Bev is happily telling stories about Roseanne to a friendly florist, unaware that he is actually a tabloid reporter.

Dan's eccentric mom heads straight for Lanford after she's released from hospital, claiming to be cured. Problem is, Dan thinks she's trying to kill him.

Darlene and David bring home their new baby. Roseanne's sage advice for her daughter? "The best part is when you can mold their tender little egos to fit your every whim," she says. But the baby's not the only news. When friends and family gather to celebrate the birth, Becky and Mark have a surprising secret -- and Leon and Scott make an announcement.

Roseanne fans find out much more than they thought they would in the second half of the season finale

Roseanne and Dan adjust to living under the same roof with Darlene and her two children, Harris and Mark, when Darlene loses her job. Meanwhile, Becky announces she is going to be a surrogate to make extra money; and Roseanne and Jackie are at odds with one another.

Darlene’s son, Mark, gets caught with a pocket knife after being bullied on the first day of his new school. Meanwhile, Becky invites Andrea over to meet the family and is nervous to bring her home.

Roseanne’s clash with Darlene over how she’s raising her kids – especially Harris – reaches a breaking point; while Dan tries to help Roseanne with her bad knee by getting her an elevator chair, which she refuses to use because she doesn’t want to admit getting old.

A crucial moment for Becky’s surrogacy arrangement forces her and Darlene to critically assess each other’s lives. Meanwhile, an animal rescue organization rejects Jackie’s application to adopt a puppy; and Roseanne makes a plan to change their mind.

David unexpectedly shows up for Harris’ birthday after being absent for years, forcing Darlene to re-examine their relationship and the rest of the family. Meanwhile, Roseanne and Jackie’s mother, Bev, temporarily moves into the Conner home after an incident at the nursing home prevents her from returning

After Beverly gets kicked out of the nursing home, Roseanne and Jackie fight over who will take care of their mother. Meanwhile, Mark's creative touch with building a birdhouse for Dan's customer is more than Dan can handle, but Darlene defends her son.

The Conners can't pay their Wi-Fi bill, so they befriend their new neighbors to use the Internet for Mary to Skype with mom Geena, who is stationed in Afghanistan. Meanwhile, Dan loses an important job and D.J. admits post-military life has been hard, so they come up with a plan to make extra money.

After celebrating their 45th anniversary, Roseanne reveals to Dan a bigger problem with her bad knee. Meanwhile, Crystal announces her retirement as a waitress at the casino, and Becky and Darlene compete for the job, which has full-time benefits.

Roseanne's knee gets worse so Dan is forced to a make an important work decision; but when a major storm hits Lanford, their fortunes change for the better. Later, Darlene realizes she has to go back to her first passion, writing.